Hallucinations, Part 2

Ah, the power of conversation! I continued trying, and failing, to get my current subject to hallucinate while awake. She's seen some amazing things while in a trace, but struggles to see the simplest of illusions while awake. I did have one success, in that I suggested that she would see a small cartoon character on the corner of any TV screen (by the station logo), but only if she wasn't looking directly at it. It worked a couple of times. I suspect that the reason it worked was due to it occuring outside her focus, allowing the subconscious mind more control.

In conversations with her, I've discovered that the big problem is fear. She spent most of her childhood with a sibling that suffered from a moderate case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID, aka multiple personalities). Her sister had four alternate personalities that would be in control at various times. The part that really scared her was the blackouts. Each personality only remembers it's own actions, leaving huge holes in memory.

I have my own beliefs on DID that I won't cover here, but to a child growing up with someone who is showing these symptoms, this has to be very disturbing. Her fear has carried over to adulthood, where she is now holding back somewhat, trying in her own way to prevent this same affliction in herself. She does this by attempting to keep her mind "fully grounded", or in her words, "not allow anything that would be seen as crazy".

The other thing that I think is holding her back is the affliction of another friend. Her friend suffers from hypnagogia. In simple terms, when he is going to sleep or waking up, his brain will get into a state where he feels conscious, and can see and move, but he hallucinates. While I find this to be fascinating, and he handles it with good humor (along with some minor adjustments), she sees this as a potentially terrifying experience. So while she didn't specifically tie this to her explanation, I think it is also a big part of what's holding her back.

I'm now trying to assure her as part of the hallucination process, and working more slowly. Let me know what you think, and any suggestions are always appreciated!