If You Could Be Anyone...

Based on a comment by Lex, I decided to try a different experience with a current sub. So, when she was deep in a trance, I had her strip completely naked, and instructed her that when she opened her eyes, she would now have her best friend Lee's body. She wasn't coming out of trance, just opening her eyes and reviewing her new body.

I had no doubt that this would work, since she has hallucinated various things in the past, but only in the trance. She's seen and touched everything from phantom piercings in her body to entire rooms around her, filled with people that didn't exist.

When commanded to open her eyes, she looked up and down over her new body. I asked her if she wanted to touch it, and she gave me a short "no". I asked her if she liked the change, and she gave me a more forceful "no", sounding like she was nearing tears. I didn't take into consideration the concept of self-image, or her true image of Lee's body (as opposed to what she says). Lee is about twenty pounds heavier than her, with a "mushy butt" and small chest. This is the opposite of the subject, so she was very upset to see this as her body, especially since she's been working so hard at the gym.

After putting her back in her own body, granting her the memory of the experience, and waking her up, she told me how upset she was to have Lee's body. She never wanted to do that again, but surprisingly, she didn't want a better body either. She said that she'd then be disappointed to be put back into hers.

One other observation from the experience comes from having her look in the mirror while in Lee's body. I figured the mirror requires a deeper trance, so I wanted to see if it worked. It did, about 99%. When she looked in the mirror, she saw Lee's body, but she noticed her own belly button piercing. She later told me that she found that odd, since she didn't think that Lee had a piercing. She then started to feel angry that her friend got a piercing and didn't tell her! The fact that her brain was justifying its existence isn't surprising. My theory is that she saw it peripherally before her brain was able to hide it, and once it appeared, she couldn't make it disappear. I'd love to hear other thoughts on this! And as always, send in any suggestions!

Hallucinations, Part 2

Ah, the power of conversation! I continued trying, and failing, to get my current subject to hallucinate while awake. She's seen some amazing things while in a trace, but struggles to see the simplest of illusions while awake. I did have one success, in that I suggested that she would see a small cartoon character on the corner of any TV screen (by the station logo), but only if she wasn't looking directly at it. It worked a couple of times. I suspect that the reason it worked was due to it occuring outside her focus, allowing the subconscious mind more control.

In conversations with her, I've discovered that the big problem is fear. She spent most of her childhood with a sibling that suffered from a moderate case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID, aka multiple personalities). Her sister had four alternate personalities that would be in control at various times. The part that really scared her was the blackouts. Each personality only remembers it's own actions, leaving huge holes in memory.

I have my own beliefs on DID that I won't cover here, but to a child growing up with someone who is showing these symptoms, this has to be very disturbing. Her fear has carried over to adulthood, where she is now holding back somewhat, trying in her own way to prevent this same affliction in herself. She does this by attempting to keep her mind "fully grounded", or in her words, "not allow anything that would be seen as crazy".

The other thing that I think is holding her back is the affliction of another friend. Her friend suffers from hypnagogia. In simple terms, when he is going to sleep or waking up, his brain will get into a state where he feels conscious, and can see and move, but he hallucinates. While I find this to be fascinating, and he handles it with good humor (along with some minor adjustments), she sees this as a potentially terrifying experience. So while she didn't specifically tie this to her explanation, I think it is also a big part of what's holding her back.

I'm now trying to assure her as part of the hallucination process, and working more slowly. Let me know what you think, and any suggestions are always appreciated!

Visualization and Hallucinations

I've been focusing a lot lately on trying to create waking hallucinations. While I've been successful at many different creations in my subjects, I've always struggled to create the true hallucinations in them.

Visualization is easy. Every subject I've worked with can create very elaborate scenes while in a trance. This isn't imagining these things in her head, she actually opens her eyes and sees them around her. One simple yet funny one had a woman who visualized herself floating six inches above the floor. She then spend the next few minutes trying to get "back" to the floor. I've had one subject who visualized being in a dungeon with other slaves. She could describe everything around her, and gave me a running description of what was happening.

The problem comes when awakened from the trance. A subject can easily see nipple piercings that aren't really there while in a trance, but they immediately disappear when awake. My latest attempts have used a continuation model to try to create the hallucination. For instance, my current submissive was told to strip naked while in a trance. She was then instructed that she would not feel naked when she woke up. She would still see and feel the same clothes she was wearing before. She would realize she was naked as soon as she stepped outside. I hid the whole session in amnesia and woke her up.

The instructions worked perfectly. But is it really hallucination? After realizing she was naked, I asked her about seeing her clothes. She couldn't remember seeing the clothes after the trance. She described it as more of not realizing she was naked, similar to putting on the wrong shoes or mismatched socks. She didn't see clothes where there were none, but instead never looked for the clothes.

I'm continuing my work on this one. Any suggestions, either through comments or email, are greatly appreciated!